The Unfiguring. I’m finally figuring that out! Over the last week or so after being touched by the podcast I spoke about earlier from Andy Byrd, I’ve been meditating on Psalm 23–meditating slowly. And I think it is changing my life.

We depend so much on our selves that if we were to read this psalm like we live it (or at least like I often live it), it would look something like

“The Lord is my shepherd, I will try hard not be in want.
I figure out where the green pastures are and I go there for rest.
I find the quiet waters although sometimes its hard as I’m just stinkin’ busy.
And when I need restoration of my soul, I look to Christian books for help as well as a good Bible study or church service.
The path of righteousness is one in which I have to overcome those lusts of my flesh, be inspired by other Christians and try to figure out how they came to be such great Christians.”

This is perhaps a little closer to the truth I feel like I’ve been living–always trying to figure it out. In fact, as I was meditating today on “he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake,” I kept thinking to myself if I could just get that, wouldn’t life be so much better? But again, it’s my own self trying to figure things out.

Yet the truth is in the paradox–to figure it out is to realize I don’t need to figure it out! It is the Shepherd who leads me to rest and refreshment. It is the Shepherd who restores my soul. It is the Shepherd who guides me in paths of righteousness. Not me! Not my trying to find the way. My job is to REST. Rest and gaze into the eyes of Jesus and respond. That’s it.

I have often strived to overcome those thoughts in my mind but to little avail. Sometimes its better and sometimes worse. I’ve been burdened at times trying to figure out where to go and what to do with the many decisions I have in this life. I have the Holy Spirit and I’m proactive to try to listen to the Lord, but still these decisions can at times can be taxing. And I’ve wondered how some Christians just seem to “get it” while I still struggle. But now I get it. It’s the simple fact that I don’t need to get it. I just need to rest and respond. That’s it. It’s the Lord who leads me and delivers me. It’s his responsibility. And whether I comprehend this or not, whether I’m resting or trying to figure out the path of righteousness, he still is leading me. As I said a few days, he’s my Shepherd if I’m trusting him to be or even if I’m not. It’s not a chucking of the brain. It’s not shirking responsibility. But it’s living with the reality that not only is He trustworthy, but he IS Shepherding my soul. Oh, happy day!