There is nothing new under the sun and a toxic marriage isn’t one of them. Abigail was married to Nabal, a fool. He was stubborn, arrogant, disrespectful but an unfortunately successful businessman. I’m sure she as his wife suffered greatly.
When Nabal was in need, David and his men protected Nabal and his livestock. But when David was in need, he spurned David greatly to the point that David set out to completely wipe out Nabal and all that was his.
Abigail interceded sending David food, apologizing for her husband, and asked his mercy. David was amazed and did as she asked. When Abigail told Nabal what happened, he had a heart attack and died 10 days later. Then David sent for Abigail and she became his wife.
So what is the point of this story? Why is it in the Scriptures?
1) We see how David is procuring his wives. Saul gave David’s wife to another when he went on the run from Saul (1 Samuel 25:44), he married Abigail through her wise actions, and he also married Ahinoam which we do not know about.
2) David was growing as a leader. In this scenario he was ready to utterly wipe out Nabal for his evil, but when Abigail interceded, David restrained his anger and showed mercy. In doing so bloodshed was prevented.
3) We see David’s character in his treatment of others. David stood as a wall around Nabal when he was in need and was not harassed. David acted in integrity.
Much of these Scriptures are about David’s growing and maturing as a leader. His righteous character and leadership are really starting to show themselves. Although he does have some issues and isn’t perfect by any means (he had two wives), we do see him working to honor and fear the Lord.
Leaders are formed by their many small decisions.